Rough weekend

Well, we made it to church yesterday evening; it took a lot of strength to get to church, but I did my makeup and dried my hair at least - it bothers me how thin it's getting, but what can you do?  I'm up to 5 juice boxes to try and increase the protein levels again.  The call Friday evening by my GI doctor that there were eosinophils were in my colon, that they were re-reviewing all of the biopsies; the treatment with prednisone; the need to increase my psych meds which I was soo proud to get off of (they think stress may be causing the pain/eos vs. allergies).... it's catching up with me and made it a hard weekend mentally and emotionally.  Just makes me really wonder what my body is doing and why it's doing it.  What am I doing to cause these reactions?

We meet with the surgeon on the gallbladder early tomorrow.  We will likely proceed with that, as we know I have biliary colic and it should be removed.  Then, we'll restart foods that I've already covered and see where I'm at.  If that goes well, I'll start fruits.  It's been needless to say a very disheartening few weeks.  I'm questioning everything, second-guessing everything, and wondering why God gave me children I can't care for (I hate thinking that, but it's been 7 months... I don't get it).  After all the drugs, formula and light veggie diet, I should not be having issues; this is only 1 of 4 food trials.  No one understands what is happening, and that is very scary for me.  I don't cheat on the diet, I don't cross-contaminate, I follow ALL the rules and instructions since this started.  My body is just doing its own thing. 

I appreciate your prayers.  I truly hope that God helps me in the decisions needed the next few weeks and if it be His Will, this resolves soon.  I'm sure my brother says the same things for the last four years, and continues to do so.  That would be the biggest miracle if we both made it through this back to full-health.  I can't imagine it, but it was be such an amazing blessing for our family.  I always dreamed of taking care of my family and my parents as they aged, not them taking care of me and raising my children.  It's incredibly heart-breaking.  People mention going out to eat, going out on dates, being intimate with Adam - trust me, when you feel this awful, that's the last thing on my mind.  This has been hard on everyone, including my relationship with Adam and I'm grateful he stands by my side. I'm grateful my parents have been here daily and nightly to help us through, even when they are hurting and tired or frustrated with managing 2 little ones.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers in the upcoming weeks, as we make some tough decisions and try to find out what's causing the stomach inflammation and the eos to return.