Just can't sleep

I forced myself to turn the lights off and rest at 10:30 last night. It's amazing how with 4 hours the night before and no naps yesterday, your body just keeps plugging along. Medicine can be great, but it can also really mess with you - especially all the steroids! I tossed and turned last night, but made it over 6 hours so far without a bathroom run. My stomach still is queasy from the last formula at 5:30 last night, but it stayed in.

I had 3 nutrition drinks yesterday (aside from my remaining diet options of grape juice, jello, ginger ale, Gatorade, water, italian ice, and tea). I'm very grateful to still have no appetite, or I could imagine this whole situation would be harder to "stomach." It'll definitely take some time to ramp up the formula intake to a can a day, but I am trying to be patient with myself. I can't start magically taking in so many calories so quickly after being sick for 27 days. I am really hoping when the c-diff is gone, I'll feel even better with the new diet and not feel like my insides are bubbling and churning constantly. I dread my morning formula already, but it's what I have to do. I figure when I'm home, I'll mix 1 can in the morning (about 72 oz) and drink 5 glasses a day (pre work, breakfast at work, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner by 6). Hopefully that'll give me enough time in the evening to drink some less heavy stuff, get my required 1 Gatorade a day in, and let my stomach settle. At least that's the tentative plan.

The phone in the room next door keeps ringing - do people really get calls at this time? Im up, had my vitals checked inc my weight - which went up a few ounces!, and figured I'll mix some formula. My stomach is already churning, and if the c-diff is still bad, better to find out now so I can tell the dr if things don't stay in. The highlights of my day... I know, I know.

I'm very grateful this isn't life threatening; it's a blessing that the steroids only keep me up and I don't have other thoughts and uncertainties of mortality to deal with in the middle of the night. There is always someone who has it worse.

Well time for formula mixing. 10 oz water, 8 scoops EleCare Vanilla = first 12 oz of the day. It's chilling now. I call it formula on the rocks...