Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Trial and Error

Today I tried something new, and it didn't work.  I figured since the formula isn't great, maybe if I did 4 big bottles a day, it would make it a less painful experience.  And I figured I would down one in the early morning, right around when I take my pills at 6am, taking the others at mid- morning, mid-afternoon and dinner time.  I could then fill in the red jello, grape juice, italian ice, water, gatorade and ginger ale at other times.  Oh Lord, was it a bad morning.  Pills didn't mix with the formula.  I wake up feeling shakey/hot, and it gets better when I take all the steroids.  But mixing that with formula; I thought everything was coming back up - it literally felt like my esophagus was on fire. Not doing THAT again.

Adam dropped me off at 7am Mom & Dad's with the kids, and I ended up just laying in bed until about 10:30.  It was nice to get rest; I ended up working yesterday when I shouldn't have and burned out fast.  It's been over 3 weeks since I put in over 1 hour.  Putting in 5 was exhausting - just mentally.  I've gotten in 2 of the 4 formula bottles, and continue to work until the "funk" sets in.  Afternoons seem to be my best time.

I have my first client training tomorrow for 2 hours.  I'm hoping my body will be mentally sharp and ready.  I could probably demo our work with my eyes closed, but the drugs make it hard to focus.  It's hard struggling with your own body.

It bothers me looking in a mirror and seeing all the weight I lost, but I still look like me.  I lost all the baby weight and fit into my clothes I wore when training for the triathlon.  However, it's still right at 130 lbs, which is a healthy weight and something I am motivated to maintain.  I am trying hard to get in my 72 oz of formula and stay hydrated, just to build up my strength.  The steroids will probably take a while to adjust to - I'm unsteady and shaky and have blurred vision most of the time (I won't even attempt to drive at times like this). 

One day at a time.  I'm actually looking forward to the allergist on Friday; every new doctor visit is one step closer to healing!

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